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You Might Be a Nurse if...

• Your typical order at Starbucks is “One Mocha Chai latte, stat!”
• Your medicine cabinet contains cough syrup, allergy pills, and a defibrillator.
• In the winter, you wear latex mittens.
• You greet your friends with a handshake and a quick blood count.
• Your son tells you his tummy hurts and you add it to his chart.
• The hors d'oeuvres at your Super Bowl party consist of mashed potatoes and Jell-O.
• Your spouse’s co-workers have a car pool. Your co-workers have a “gurney pool.”
• You customize with 20-inch rims. On a wheelchair.
• While taking your dog to be neutered you tell him “This might pinch a little.”
• You clean your kitchen counters with betadine and methanol.
• Your mother’s home remedy was chicken soup. Yours is a bronchial dilator.
• You host a dinner party wearing your finest surgical gown.
• Your daughter scrapes her knee and you perform an emergency skin graft.
• You order “femurs” instead of “drumsticks” at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
• You set your table with culture plates and sanitary napkins
• You call your husband to dinner by yelling, “Paging Dr. Know-it-all!”
• Your wardrobe is divided into “casual scrubs” and “business scrubs.”
• You stay up late watching “Dukes of Bio-Hazzard” re-runs.
• Your grandmother asks for a tissue and you hand her a liver biopsy.
• You have a bumper sticker that reads, “Penicillin – It’s not just for breakfast anymore.”
• Your phonebook is organized by Body Mass Index.