You Might Be a Nurse if...

Your typical order at Starbucks is “One Mocha Chai latte, stat!”
Your medicine cabinet contains cough syrup, allergy pills, and a defibrillator.
In the winter, you wear latex mittens.
You greet your friends with a handshake and a quick blood count.
Your son tells you his tummy hurts and you add it to his chart.
The hors d'oeuvres at your Super Bowl party consist of mashed potatoes and Jell-O.
Your spouse’s co-workers have a car pool. Your co-workers have a “gurney pool.”
You customize with 20-inch rims. On a wheelchair.
While taking your dog to be neutered you tell him “This might pinch a little.”
You clean your kitchen counters with betadine and methanol.
Your mother’s home remedy was chicken soup. Yours is a bronchial dilator.
You host a dinner party wearing your finest surgical gown.
Your daughter scrapes her knee and you perform an emergency skin graft.
You order “femurs” instead of “drumsticks” at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
You set your table with culture plates and sanitary napkins
You call your husband to dinner by yelling, “Paging Dr. Know-it-all!”
Your wardrobe is divided into “casual scrubs” and “business scrubs.”
You stay up late watching “Dukes of Bio-Hazzard” re-runs.
Your grandmother asks for a tissue and you hand her a liver biopsy.
You have a bumper sticker that reads, “Penicillin – It’s not just for breakfast anymore.”
Your phonebook is organized by Body Mass Index.

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"Once in a Management position, I learned the tools Loyola taught me were real-world valuable. I use them every day."

Ian Nygren, MSN 2003

Emergency Department Clinical Nurse Manager at a university hospital and clinic