You Might Be a Nurse if...
- Your typical order at Starbucks is “One Mocha Chai latte, stat!”
- Your medicine cabinet contains cough syrup, allergy pills, and a defibrillator.
- In the winter, you wear latex mittens.
- You greet your friends with a handshake and a quick blood count.
- Your son tells you his tummy hurts and you add it to his chart.
- The hors d'oeuvres at your Super Bowl party consist of mashed potatoes and Jell-O.
- Your spouse’s co-workers have a car pool. Your co-workers have a “gurney pool.”
- You customize with 20-inch rims. On a wheelchair.
- While taking your dog to be neutered you tell him “This might pinch a little.”
- You clean your kitchen counters with betadine and methanol.
- Your mother’s home remedy was chicken soup. Yours is a bronchial dilator.
- You host a dinner party wearing your finest surgical gown.
- Your daughter scrapes her knee and you perform an emergency skin graft.
- You order “femurs” instead of “drumsticks” at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
- You set your table with culture plates and sanitary napkins
- You call your husband to dinner by yelling, “Paging Dr. Know-it-all!”
- Your wardrobe is divided into “casual scrubs” and “business scrubs.”
- You stay up late watching “Dukes of Bio-Hazzard” re-runs.
- Your grandmother asks for a tissue and you hand her a liver biopsy.
- You have a bumper sticker that reads, “Penicillin – It’s not just for breakfast anymore.”
- Your phonebook is organized by Body Mass Index.




